Dominatrix, mrs doubtfire and Brittany

Now my daughter is engaged we have been visiting wedding fairs when time allows. A couple of weeks ago ,we went to the NEC in Birmingham. I dressed with care, after all, mother of the bride and giving her away .

It was as lovely as we had expected . There was everything from popcorn maker to rat pack tribute . My attention was drawn to a beautiful stand of exquisite chair backs . I went over to have a look while Amy and her friend wandered off. A very austere lady approached me , she asked if I would like to see the collection. She was stern and business like , actually put me in mind of mrs Doubtfire . We were deep in conversation when I suddenly heard.

”Hey Brittany, quick look , it’s that dominatrix from first dates on the telly”.

To my dismay I looked up and saw them making a beeline towards me . To make matters worse mrs Doubtfire, who until then had been extremely professional, shrieked

IMG_0551

“ A dominatrix, in here , where?”

I knew I had to make a hasty exit.

” Oh my god , I need to find my daughter, I don’t want her carted off in chains and given a bottle of windowlene”.

With that I shot off quicker than a punter in a raided brothel . I tucked myself into a stand full of wedding dresses , wrapping my arms around a huge puff ball dress so that I could get a better look and sure enough Brittany and her mother were there quizzing a horrified mrs Doubtfire . Suddenly I felt a tap on my shoulder, god what now!

” For god sake mum, why are you hugging that huge merengue, I don’t think the management will be too impressed “

” Oh there you are darling ,well I was just checking I could get my arms around all the merengue to give you a hug on the day”

” I wouldn’t be seen dead in that , and you know it. Let’s have the truth? You’ve been rumbled haven’t you?”

” Yeah, I think i’ve shaken them off though , but I need a brandy”

Amy took my hand .

“Come on then, better make it a double “

That made me smile

“ But can we not go past mrs Doubtfire “

”Mrs who?”

”Oh never mind “

 

 

 

 

 

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