You want me to take my what out? 

I have to say, some calls leave me speechless. I’m totally confused as to what turns some guys on.

Ring, Ring

“Hello, who am I speaking to?”

“Hello, this is Raymond, are you old?”

“Well Raymond, I wouldn’t describe myself as old, but I’m certainly a more mature lady”

“Oh great, big saggy tits then?”

Great! No I don’t have big saggy tits but what the caller wants the caller gets.

” Yes Raymond they are humongous , in fact if I’m not careful they get caught in my zip”

“Oh my god amazing,  you got a big fat belly?”

God could this get any worse

“Yep, huge saggy belly can’t remember the last time I saw my pussy”

” God Sofia , that’s got me so hard, I want you to suck my big hard cock , but take your teeth out first, put them in a glass by the side of the bed, then give me a real hard gummy suck”

This guy is really taking the piss. I don’t mind that my tits have started to resemble roofers nail bags , or that my belly now obscures my feet, but my teeth are my pride and joy and are most definitly my own . But his next request was even more bizarre .

“I want to hear you saying something without your teeth in”

Hmm, how does , ” you are a fucking twat” sound , coming from a toothless old hag with body issues?

Anyway , I won’t bore you with the gory details of toothless fellatio , but he made enough noise about it , so there’s nothing wrong with this old hags hearing.

” yeah, that was great doll, cheers”

” just a minute, before you go”

” yeah?”

“I’d like my teeth back please”

Bloody Cheeck